Next month is National Novel Writing Month. I’ve been looking forward to it for most of the year because this year I plan to participate in NaNoWriMo. There’s also other projects I’ve been trying to find the time to work on, such as my Tarot reading business. It is October, after all. One of the busiest months of the year for intuitive readers, mediums and the like.
Amidst all of this there is, of course, my health issues, my daily household duties, my weekly errands and chores, and my special needs toddler. In every marriage and every parenthood, compromises and sacrifices must be made. Because my husband is also special needs (though higher-functioning so it’s a little easier to handle) he has to have specific routines. And part of his coping skills and support is working with his hands. It is very theraputic and helps him with his anxiety, his autistic meltdowns, and assorted other issues he has. If he did not have his hobby of costume and replica building, he would have a very hard time managing his condition, and I would have a hard time managing him when necessary.
Our son is also special needs, much like his father/my husband. He hasn’t been “officially” tested yet because we’ve been having trouble finding someone or somewhere that will test for autism under the age of 3. (We’ve now found somewhere in Atlanta, and are currently waiting for a call back from the referrall. In the meantime, we’re getting started on the paperwork for special needs preschool for next year.) This means that one of us has to put our personal interests and pursuits on hold until our son is older and is spending a little time in school each day.
By default, I am always the one who has to put things on hold and put things aside. Usually, I don’t mind because I understand that without my husband’s hobby that helps keep him grounded and has so much benefit for his mood swings, his anxiety, etc – my personal stuff isn’t used as a coping skill or management technique. It’s purely personal interest or curiosity. But sometimes it really does irk me. Especially when nights like tonight, the only time I get to myself to even write a blog post is in the wee hours of the morning, leaving me to get only a few hours of sleep at a time each day. Or, I sleep and never get anything of my own personal projects and stuff done.
However, all of this is due to change. See, once again I’d decided to push all my stuff aside, especially because my son’s been having a really rough time lately (and we’re still fighting him on the Potty Training issue) so I’m having to be more hands on and I’m having to put more of my time and energy into toddler wrangling than I normally do. This, of course, puts extra strain on my back and my knees because he’s a really big boy, and sometimes when he has one of his meltdowns (not a normal 2 year old tantrum, but a full blown autistic meltdown) I have to hold him to keep him from accidentally hurting himself. He’s the sort that he likes to throw himself around, throw things, etc. Once he managed to push me away and threw himself on his bed. Missed the pillow with his head and hit the rail. So, for safety’s sake, I have to hold him when he has one of these episodes. But, with my back the way it is… it takes one hell of a toll on me physically. Thankfully he’s not had any of his more severe meltdowns recently, but you never know when or how or if it’ll happen. So, I can’t let myself get too distracted.
I’d told my husband the other night that once again, I’ll put off my projects until November 2017. His response was that he felt like an asshole, but I told him I know how important his things are, and it’s easier for me to push my stuff aside.
That was, I believe, Saturday night? Anyway, on Friday my mom had an interview at work for another position in the house she works at. She got it, of course, but was told that it would be months at the earliest before she would be moved to the shift that she wants (second shift – 3pm to 11pm), but in the meantime she would be needed on first shift (7pm to 3pm) and would remain on 3rd shift (11pm to 7am) until a new hire for 3rd shift could be hired and trained to take her place.
Well, Monday my mom got a phone call. Starting October 17th, she is officially on second shift. What does this mean for me?
Well, it means that I don’t have to completely shove aside the things i want to do and the projects and interests I want to pursue. See, one of the major problems in my household was that my mom worked graveyard shifts, and slept all day. This meant that I could not do my youtube stuff when she was sleeping. They only room in my house I could do anything requiring video or noise is my livingroom… which is right outside my mother’s room. I also could not do things on the nights she was off because she would feel obligated to stay in her room while I was filming (though I’ve told her time and again she can pass through the back of the shot, it doesn’t matter to me or anyone else.) So the only time I could do anything requiring noise and a camera or filming of any sort would be after 11PM on nights when she worked. But, being so late in the day/night, by then I didn’t have the energy to do much more than play a round of solitaire on my laptop and pass out cold.
Now, when she’s at work during daylight hours, at reasonable times no less, I can set up in the livingroom for 1-2 hours a day and while my husband is having lunch or cuddle/bonding time with our son, I can be working on my projects undisturbed.
So, now I’ll be able to work on my novel for NaNoWriMo this year. Work on my business. Work on my personal projects. My blog. Pretty much anything I want that I’ve been putting off all this time.This in turn will help me with my stress and anxiety and assorted personal issues, will make me more relaxed so that i can turn around and not want to bite people’s heads off because I’ve been dealing with too much all day or week long with no break even to take a pee, which will help take some of the barbs out of my attitude, which will make me more pleasant for my husband to be around, which will help him relax and put him at ease knowing I’m not constantly pissed off and stressed, which will help our marriage overcome some hurdles we’ve been facing, which will help us be stronger and better able to raise our son in a stable home, and help us focus on his special needs.
All because my mom finally got a shift change at work – which allows me to have some peace and quiet at the other end of the house for a little bit each day.
It’s amazing how so many things can be set right by one little unexpected and seemingly insignificant change.