Today we had 2 firsts.
My son’s first ever dental check-up. And he aced it with flying colors! Perfect teeth, clean (admittedly despite our inability to brush them regularly because he’s one hell of a biter and a fighter!), and not a cavity in sight! Though, I don’t let him have a lot of junk foods and sugar, so that’s a big plus right there. He got his first big boy toothbrush, and his first pinwheel, too!
Today was also a first for me. I found a psychologist to help me with my mental health issues. It’s been a while since I’ve seen one, and I was really leary. I don’t do well with female psychologists. I get really REALLY aggro and oppositional. This, I know, goes back to having trust issues and serious problems with authority figures, especially women (such as the aunt I used to live with, and people who should have been trustworthy but turned out to only use what they knew against me in very bad ways). Though, I came away from this visit smiling from ear to ear. This woman made me feel like I was talking to my favorite aunt, or my grandmother. I feel really at ease with her, and found myself discussing a lot more than I had intended. She even shares a name with my favorite aunt (the one who is deceased). She has this subtle way of getting people to open up, and I like that. We’re going to work on my anger issues first, because that is the root of my current mental health state, and has been causing me serious problems in life in general. And I have always had an anger issue. But since my little man came along, I don’t have the time nor patience nor focus I used to have, and my old coping mechanisms either no longer work, or I simply do not have the time to implement them. So, I need new ones. After anger, we’ll be dealing with my depression, specifically the postpartum. All this, and I’ve got to get a psychiatrist so I can get back on my meds and work on things from the inside as well as the outside.
I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to deal with my chronic pain and my knees, so there’s that as well. More on that after my visit sometime tomorrow.
And lastly, there’s a surprise third first! It’s not exactly…. good. Exactly.
My son’s first swear word is “damn”. At least, I think it is. He was so mad at me because of the dentist visit that he was screaming and shouting at me almost all the way home, and it was clear he was trying to form words to tell me exactly how pissed off he was. I think I heard, but cannot confirm, that he might have said “damn” somewhere in there.
I guess I’ll find out if or when he ever says it again. Man I need to work on my potty mouth!