Word to the Wise: OPERATION CLEAN-UP DAY 2 (posted a day late)

So the clean-up continues! My living room now in order, I set my sights on my bedroom. My bedroom had become a catch-all storage area for everything we either didn’t want stolen, mixed in with my sister’s stuff, or things we needed to have quick access to. This went on for 4 months. Now, it’s back to normal (mostly). I just have some extra blankets that need to be put away for storage until the winter, something I’ll have to buy bins for, as we needed to do this regardless of whether my sister moved in or not. It’s just that we can finally now GET to them. But at least now my room isn’t full of spiders, and neither is my living room. The bathroom is, and will always be a work in progress until I get the OK from landlord at some point to start renovations on it. I mean, the guy they had come in to do the floors before, he sucks. He doesn’t know what he was doing, and the kind of board he was using? Yeah, when it gets wet at all, it gets super weak. And unfortunately since he didn’t know what he was doing, he left a gap between the wall and the floor, the hole for the toilet wasn’t cut out correctly, causing my toilet to tilt slightly to the right, and let’s be honest, you don’t leave BARE DRYWALL in the shower. It molds and mildews like you wouldn’t believe. So that’ll have to be ripped out completely and replaced. And I DO NOT trust any of the maintenance men they have on staff because the first time we had a problem, the ceiling fan nearly set the house on fire after it was “fixed”. They had to go out and hire an actual electrician to come and fix that problem.

So yeah, not trusting their handy guys, and totes gonna try for getting it done ourselves. My hubby has quite an eclectic working history that does include actual residential construction, and yes, he’s really freaking good at it. So that’ll help cut the costs of repairing this house as well. We’ll only have to hire outside help when it’s something out of my hubby’s depth (such as electricity or plumbing). But when it comes to floors, roofs, walls, doors, cosmetic repairs, etc. My hubby is THE MAN.

And now that I’ve digressed quite a bit, let’s get back on track.

Clean-up is going well. I’m looking at buying mold and mildew inhibiting paint to do the entire house in. Had to throw away my favorite back-pack that I’ve had for over 10 years (seriously, this thing, it was great! Had these super soft back cushions built in along with strap cushions. Had a cooling-weave to keep from overheating due to your back being covered by the backpack, AND it had so many pockets you could carry about half a cart of small groceries home on your back comfortably and without issue. AND IT KEPT COLD THINGS COLD! Alas, it’s gone now).

Today, on day 3, which is when I’m writing and posting the info of Day 2, I’m doing the kitchen and a bit more on the bathroom. I imagine the kitchen is going to take 3-4 days total, as the chemicals I need to use in there are quite strong and harsh, and there’s little to no ventilation. Also because I’ve got a busy week ahead of me. Hubby has surgery follow-up tomorrow morning at 9:45AM. Son has developed an ear infection, likely due to his allergies (all of the dust getting kicked up in the last week getting rid of my sister and cleaning up the aftermath) so I’ll have to take him in tomorrow as well. Hopefully tomorrow. I’ll be pushing for tomorrow. Tuesday looks like the only day I’ll likely have free. Wednesday I’ve got to be in Rome for a SSI hearing for my niece since I was her rep-payee for about 6 months during a period of time her case was in review (this decides whether or not she gets to keep her disability check). Thursday I have physio, as well as Friday. Friday is also the dog’s bath day. Friday I’m also posting August’s completed chapter of my fanfic, which I’ve started updating monthly. In between all of this I still have my usual household errands and duties.

So yeah, cleaning the kitchen is going to take a few days at the very least. Not that I’m complaining. I not only need to get my house back in shape, I WANT to get my house back in shape!

Also, last night there was a big ass U-Haul truck parked in front of my assholey neighbors’ house. The main asshole, Eddie, had to get a cab home last night with one of his buddies, and his car didn’t appear until sometime around 9AM this morning. The U-Haul is now gone, but hey, a woman can dream can’t she?

Things with hubby and I are getting back to normal (at least for us anyway). We’ve been on the rocks for a good while now, but we’re getting it straightened back out. A lot of it actually is on my end, as I’m jealous as fuck and he’s a huge flirt. Fortunately when other people, especially women, are flirting with him he’s oblivious about 90% of the time. Meanwhile I’m standing there wanting to scratch their eyes out the whole time. But that’s an issue I’m working on, and we’re working on things together.

There’s one major silver lining to this entire experience with my sister. There is no more “try” there is only “WILL”. As in, I’m not going to TRY and sort myself out, or TRY to work on my personal issues. I WILL sort myself out. I WILL work on my personal issues.

Also, guys, here’s a handy marital tip I picked up from “How I Met Your Mother”. Yeah, it’s not the greatest idea, but it’s actually helped us MASSIVELY, especially this past week when dealing with my sister’s bullshit. Pausing Fights. See, when hubby and I really get going with a fight, it can get ugly. Won’t go into detail, but ugly enough that now we’re out the other side of the family crisis with my sister, we’re looking at getting marriage and family counseling.

How it works is this: When emotions get running too high, or things that have nothing to do with why we’re actually fighting work their way into it, one of us calls pause. We stay in pause to handle things that otherwise would go undone due to fighting. Like household chores, errands, time sensitive things, etc. Then, after we’ve both calmed down and cooled our heads, we check that the other person is also calmed down and then we unpause, and resume the discussion in a more collected manner. When or if things get out of hand again, we pause until we settle down. Yes, it can drag fights out for a few days, but lemme tell you this: neither one of us has been shouting, nor have we snapped hateful words to each other. Because we make ourselves take a few moments, or hours, whatever’s needed. And the word “pause” in the context we use it says in a single word “this isn’t over, we will finish this, but there’s more important things we need to be getting on with”. Since instituting this system on July 31st, we’ve only had 2 arguments which lasted over a period of 3 days each. So that’s not too bad for us. As a matter of fact, it’s better than where we were at before.

I’m also insisting on more open communication, and that rather than standing up and talking about important or frustrating things, we sit down beside or in front of one another and talk about it. That way again, we’re on the same page and we don’t let things get to the fighting point.

I know the “pause” tip won’t work for everyone, but hey, it’s a good start for us. 🙂

Now then, lunch and cleaning need my attention.

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