Health issues aside, life’s been rough the last while. More and more I’m cycling back into depression, and I know I never quite made it out of postpartum depression. (Bipolar people are more likely to suffer from that the rest of their lives, and are more at risk for postpartum psychosis. Thankfully, I’m just the depression!) There have been days recently where the only reason I’ve woken up and functioned during the day is because my son needs me. If not for that, I’d have wallowed in my own self loathing for a few days, weathered through as I always have, and then been fine. But parenthood makes you learn new coping mechanisms because the old ones may not work anymore. Mine certainly doesn’t.
So, I’ve been watching a LOT of movies and tv shows lately in my spare time and to help me get to sleep at night. (South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is the greatest sleeping pill around. Five minutes or less in and I’m O-U-T!) And I recently decided to binge on an old favorite in it’s new form – Sailor Moon.
For those that don’t know, Sailor Moon was an anime series based off a manga of the same name created by Naoko Takeuchi. It paved the way outside of Japan during the 90s for the popular Magical Girl genre of anime and manga to sweep the globe. Sailor Moon itself was inspired by the manga Codename Wa: Sailor V, and served as a continuation/expansion of the world created in Sailor V. Giving a more rounded mythos to the magical girl power of the series. It lasted 5 series, has produced numerous musicals, 3 feature length specials, spawned a live action series which told an alternate version of the original story’s events, toys, video games, even a collectable trading card game! And now has been rebooted and updated, with episodes airing online. The artwork style of the new incarnation, Sailor Moon Crystal, is much closer to the manga source material, and the story itself is MUCH closer to the source than the original anime was (but that doesn’t dim my love for it!).
Yesterday was a particularly bad day for me, so all of my spare time was spent binging on Sailor Moon Crystal. And finally, at 4AM this morning, I turned off the computer after the latest episode, rolled over, and went right to sleep. I woke up this morning groggy from a late night, but the storm in my mind has ended. The clouds are still there, but are lifting. I believe I may have come up with a safe coping mechanism that still allows me to function and do the things I need to do on a daily basis. Track down and watch my favorite childhood cartoons, apparently.
Anyway, my son decided earlier today that after his diaper change and some cuddle time, my computer looked highly interesting. So he started smashing the keyboard. This opened up a lot of programs. Apparently he wanted to write something in Notepad, check his e-mail, Google some stuff, take some selfies, and then call his dad on Skype. So that’s what he did with each frantic button mash before I pulled him away from the laptop. This my my favorite of all the selfies he took of himself today.