This has been a rather big year for me. Death, birth, moving, moving again, relationships lost, relationships found, and most of all, a TARDIS blanket.
Midway through January, my big brother was killed by a teen driver who was speeding, out after state ordered Class D license curfew, and texting. I had to be the one to break the news to my mother. Two-thirds of the way through January, my sister called my mom to have her come get her and take her away from her abusive husband. I had the car, so me and my husband went to fetch her. My brother-in-law threatened to beat us, then stood behind my car shouting “Just leave!” and waiting for me to back over him with the car. I did not. His mother took my phone in the middle of the 911 call. My husband caught it all on video. My brother-in-law was arrested. At the end of the month, on the 30th, was my 27th birthday. A birthday I share with my niece-by-marriage, who turned 19. Between my brother’s death and my birthday, we were also snowed in. This would be the first time during the start of the year that this happened.
February rolled in, and started the month of positive change. First, on the 7th, was the 1 year anniversary of my husband and I first getting together. A few days later, my mum asked me to go and dog sit her new dog. My husband came with. We were snowed in there, as well. We spent Valentine’s Day snowed in at my mother’s. I got a teddy bear as big as I am (and that’s pretty big!). During this time, my husband and I discussed moving out of his mother’s. We decided this was definitely the thing to do, as her house was not fit to bring a child home to, and we really weren’t comfortable with me living there while pregnant, given the rather… let’s just say there were a lot of animals and I couldn’t clean up after them and my husband is only one person and NOBODY else in the house cared if the dogs shit all over the floor. Anyway, we decided that we would be moving out on March 1st. On February 26th, I woke up to go pee, thinking I had peed the bed (as I tended to do near the end of my pregnancy, because honestly I am such a deep sleeper I had peed the bed a few times when the baby moved around and I was asleep). So I got up, went to the bathroom, came back and found I was still dripping. I’ll never forget that morning as long as I live. I stood just inside our bedroom door, looked at my husband and said “Honey, I thought I peed, but I didn’t pee. I think my water broke.” To which he spun around in his chair, not even having had a single sip of his coffee, and goes “WHAT!?!?!?!” To which I calmly replied “I think my water broke. I’d better call momma.” Twenty-seven hours of hard labor later, our son was born on February 27th.
March 1st came and went, and my husband had to leave the hospital to go take care of the move. I stayed a few days, then had to leave. My son did not come home with me. Having been born 6 weeks early, he had to stay in the NICU in the next county over. I was devastated, but visited him every opportunity I had. After his 6 day stay in the hospital, my son came home at last. It was a Monday. On Friday night he had diarrhea in the wee hours of the morning, so we took him to the ER. Saturday he was congested. Sunday morning we took him to the ER because I just couldn’t take his wheezing anymore and I was so worried. He was shipped off to Scottish Rite in Atlanta before noon. My husband went with him. I had to get a ride with out roommate because I had to take the car back to my mom. After a few days of supportive care for RSV, my son came home healthy as a horse. The rest of March flew by in a flurry of diapers and baby poo.
April came, my our roommate lost her job. My husband and I did our best to pick up the slack on the bills, but we were only able to get the rent and only part of the utilities paid. My roommate also started dating openly. This is important, as she had been my brother’s fiance. This is the point when she allowed me and my husband to know that she was dating, when in fact she had already started attempting to replace my brother as early as February. This is also when the colic began. And oh it was 7 hours a night of pure hell.
May came, and my mother moved in with us to help with out bills. My husband and I at this point were made to understand that our roommate didn’t plan on staying around much longer, and wanted to move out. Unfortuately, the lease prevented her from doing so. But that when March came around again, she would be free of the lease and move out. We would then be taking over. This is what we were told, but it is not what was actually going to happen. See, she had lied to us about everything, and when my mother moved in believing she was helping her daughter and her son-in-law to hang on to their new home, in reality our roommate needed someone else to come in and pay on her bills. Bills that we didn’t have anything to do with.
Then came June. And with one of my older sister’s wedding invitations came my son’s teething. Colic was still not done with yet. June also heralded in Father’s Day, which was my husband’s first that he could actually look forward to. See, he has 4 other children out in the world, but in his younger days, he wasn’t able to be the father they needed at the time. He was hardly grown up and capable of keeping himself going. So, he did what he felt was best for the kids and signed his rights off. A few of them, in the end, were spared the toxicity their parents would have created for one another. Some of my husband’s exes are… well… the two of them should NOT have ever been in the same room together, that’s how toxic their relationship was. But now, Father’s Day is a big deal for him because this year was the first time he could actually celebrated it WITH his child. He finally feels himself worthy enough to be a proper father, and to be a proper husband. And I’m so happy that I could help him find the peace he needed to become the man he was meant to be. And because of this, I sent my own father a card. My relationship with him is, well, nonexistent. This is by my choice, as having my father in my life was actually VERY toxic for me. I won’t get into details, but I felt he at least should know he has a grandson, and that I am finally FINALLY happy with my life and my self. So I sent him a card, and a few pictures. One of myself and my son, one of my husband and my son. That way he could see for himself. It was also my attempt at a peace offering.
July rolled in and so did the heat. And the headache. My sister’s wedding, as well. Our first “road trip” with our son, to my sister’s wedding in the far western part of the state of Georgia. A 3 hour solid drive. And again the following day to get back home. Fourth of July was my son’s first fireworks. The teething got worse. And we were informed by our roommate that she had been court ordered to “resolve” her living situation. Basically she was told she either had to move out NOW or make US move out. While she kept saying she would move out, she made it very clear that it was US who should move out (despite our paying ALL of her bills) and that we should ALSO pay the AUGUST bills as well. Though she changed her tune when she found out my mother got a raise in her pay, and therefore suddenly “Ya’ll don’t have to move. The judge is full of shit.” We decided to move anyway, as it saved us a LOT of headache, and she could no longer threaten to take the bill money we gave her to pay the landlord with and take off with it. Two weeks before August 1st, we went and paid the security deposit on our house, and then we paid the first month’s rent on August 1st.
We moved. August 1st we moved into our own place. My mother still lives with us, but at least she has her own room here. Her own space. Even our son has his own room! At the end of the month, my husband went to Atlanta for DragonCon. BIG MISTAKE!
DragonCon lasted all the last weekend of August and ended the first Monday of September. That weekend was HELL for me. My son was scared and wanted his father the ENTIRE TIME. So he cried and he cried and he cried. Nonstop. Did I mention he was still teething? And by now had cut his first two teeth? He was also very colicky that weekend. My husband had to come home on Sunday, though would have done Saturday night if possible. That first night of DragonCon, that first night completely alone with the baby (as my mother had to work that night), my neighbor also decided to blast his music, very base heavy, until 1AM. Thus keeping my child awake even more. This would begin the battle of the neighbors that currently still is going on. The rest of September is rife with music battles between the neighbor and ourselves.
October blew in and showed us exactly how cold it can be in NW Georgia. My son’s first Halloween came, as well as subpeanas for my brother-in-law’s court hearing.
November came in, and I hurt my toe. I couldn’t walk on it until mid-way through December, as I’d sliced it open pretty bad. The same night I hurt my toe, my oldest sister was kidnapped by her husband from her own home. My mom got a reverse 911 call while sitting in the ER waiting room with me, waiting on my toe. My sister was found, safe, a few hours later. She did not go back to that house until she was able to go with a police escort to collect her belongings. She came over for Thanksgiving and stayed a few days. It was nice, finally having this sister around again. When she’s sober, she’s actually a pretty decent person to be around.
And now, December. This month has been quiet, mostly. There was an incident with another neighbor that led to his arrest. We simply called for a noise complaint. Turns out he was having a robotripping pot party next door. Both he and his brother were arrested, as well as the other party members. However, he and his brother both lost their jobs – They worked at the local unit of the Boys and Girls Club of America. My neighbor was the Program Director, his brother the Activities Coordinator. On the positive side of the month’s coin, my son’s first Christmas! His cousin came over, my newly reunited with the family sister, and just yesterday we saw my father-in-law and my husband’s brother. I also got back to one of my fanfic writing projects this month. The project has been sitting in Unfinished Fanfiction Limbo for nearly a year, but finally I figured out a system to getting some “me time” in and to get it worked on and hopefully done at some point. There’s just a few days left of this year, and we’re planning to have a nice quiet evening at home for New Years. With a turkey. Because we ended up getting a free one last minute the day before Christmas Eve, because one of our OTHER neighbors, a really nice old lady, was like “hey, I bet they could use a turkey for Christmas.” And so, we had a free extra bird sitting in our freezer and really nothing much to need it for. So, Happy New Years Turkey Dinner WOO!
That’s pretty much it. I hope, for my sanity’s sake, that 2015 is a LOT quieter than this year. Or at least a lot more positive.