I have been blogging since I was about 17. First on Blogger, then on Xanga. Occasionally back in the days of Myspace (the first version pre-Timberlake) I put up a blog post or two on my profile. Back when Facebook actively promoted the use of the Notes system, there as well. On DeviantART in the Journal widget. On Tumblr. On VOX before it was absorbed by Typepad, and even still further on Typepad, Livejournal, DeadJournal, and the now defunct GreatestJournal.
And I can tell you that with each blog, with each different platform, my personality was different on each one.
Blogger was my first. The training wheels of blogging. There I was just a typical, boring and average teenager. I used their defunct blogrings system to find blogs I liked. One of which was called “Look at his butt” and centered around posting pictures and screenshots of William Shatner’s butt from the original Star Trek series. I learned to make templates and alter code using Blogger. I was fresh faced and new to the online diary keeping world. I also learned the hard truths of using real people’s names when talking about situations and events best left in the personal and private realm.
With my next blog, I went to Xanga. Here I changed the names of people in my daily entries about, well, my day. The time period in my life that I had this blog was a very tumultuous one. I was angry. I was depressed. I was so filled with anger and rage and Xanga was an outlet to unleash it. I was, in all manner of the word, an asshole. I kept this blog from 2005 until Xanga closed it’s doors and remade itself last year into a terrible pre-beta version of free WordPress. All of my other blogs, save this one and some on Tumblr, were born and died during the time I was an active Xanga user.
Where I would post nothing but anger and rage and bile on Xanga, I would turn to my Livejournal for fandom oriented interaction. I often found that when I would go to the Xanga front page and log in, I would focus only on the things that made me angry. Livejournal reminded me of my lonliness and desperation. DeadJournal made me feel like I was going against the norm. I was punk. I was anti-establishment.
On DeviantART I was the frustrated artist bemoaning the fact I couldn’t sell my paintings. Or this life issue caused yet another setback on a project I was working on. GreatestJournal was used solely as a journal for a fictional character in an online roleplaying chatroom game. I could pretend I was someone else to escape my own life. And VOX… Vox was strictly for my writing. My short stories and fanfiction. When VOX was absorbed by Typepad, I continued there for a short while, but it just didn’t have the same feel. But I always went back to Xanga. At least, until I discovered Tumblr.
On Tumblr, I was a sarcastic jerk. A fanfic writer, too. But mostly a sarcastic jerk who liked to upset Social Justice Warriors. Social Justice is good and necessary, but some of those fanatical people….. just wow. Really REALLY crazy.
Currently, I only have 1 active Tumblr account, with 2 I’m actually getting rid of soon. My time on Tumblr was not pretty, and I realized while blogging there that it was more toxic to me than Xanga ever was. With Xanga, the anger and rage and wrath ended the moment I logged out for the day. On Tumblr… Tumblr seeps into every aspect of your life. I became a very toxic person for the period of about 3-5 months because I was constantly being angered by one thing or another. So, I left it. Save for my fanfic blog where the ONLY stories are posted. Never personal information. Never personal anything. I let the story I’m writing there speak for itself.
The fact is, each blog reflected a lot of what you saw in their respective blogging communities. Since starting this one, I find that I’ve stopped writing with a rhyme or reason in mine. WordPress, I have found, is a positive community filled with . Content driven rather than user drama driven. It is exactly what I have needed all along from a blogging site and community. I learn so much daily just by checking the Fresh Pressed section, let alone those blogs I’ve found and decided to follow. I just sit down, an idea strikes, or some photos pop up in my old backlog of files, and I post. As I weed through old blogs, saving what content is actually worth saving, I’m realizing a lot about myself and how I have changed over the years since my first blog. If people like what I post, decide to follow me, then that’s cool. If not, it’s no skin off my back. What matters most is that I find myself happier than I have been in months. And it is due in part to a positive outlet for my creativity rather than one steeped in negativity and anger. I have come full blogging circle. Back to my roots. Just a chronicle of stuff I like, my mundane day to day life, and some darn good amateur photography and art. Just the little things.